Putting the 'Pieces' Together...

It's been a long time since I've posted anything new on our blog. I wish that I could tell you that a lot has happened since the last time I posted, but unfortunately everything has been put on hold.

Legally in the eyes of the Congolese government, Asher is our son. We've followed all of the "rules", filled out the numerous amount of paperwork, paid our "fees"... We've held up our part of the bargain, but the immigration department in the Congo has "temporarily" put a hold on issuing exit letters for any adopted children to leave the country. This suspension could last through this Sept/Oct or maybe even longer. Or it could change by next month. We just don't know. We're in limbo. We're waiting.

Jim and I have been very blessed to have had all of the funds we've needed to pay all of our adoption fees. We have not had to do much fundraising up to this point. However, we know that we will need at least $10,000 for travel expenses when we do finally travel to get our son. That is for airfare, hotel, and living expenses in Congo, which could be up to 3 weeks (or longer). There are many different fundraising ideas that I have come across during our adoption process, but this one touched me the most. I love the idea of having something tangible that our son can look at and keep with him forever...

Puzzle Fundraiser

We would like you to be a 'piece' of Asher's story. This little boy has so little and we would like to give him as many memories as we can.

Jim and I have purchased a 500 piece puzzle. 

You can sponsor a piece for $10 and we'll write your name on the back.

You may sponsor as many pieces as you'd like.

One for every person in your family, if you want.

Or perhaps a single piece in memory of somebody special.

Or perhaps just one for you.

You could even pool your resources with a friend and purchase a piece together.

Whatever works for you.

Once the puzzle is complete, and all 500 pieces are sponsored, we will frame the puzzle in double-sided glass and hang it in Asher's room.

Please pray about this and share with your family and friends if you can. The more people that know about this and are willing to help us, the closer we will be to our goal.

And one day, I'll be able to take that picture down, have Asher snuggle up on my lap, and we'll turn it over and I will point to all of the puzzle pieces and tell him, "Look how much you were loved. Look at how much you were wanted. Look at all these people who helped bring you home."

So here's what you need to do:

-Click the 'Donate' tab on the right side of your screen.
-Pick the amount that  you would like to donate. We are asking $10/puzzle piece.
-Sponsor as many pieces as you would like.
-You can also send us a personal check or cash in person if you would like. (If you need our address, please email at: jimwarne@hotmail.com)
-I will periodically update the progress of the puzzle with pictures and I will post updates on Facebook as well.

Thank you!!!

Hanging on...

It's amazing how many emotions a person can go through in a matter of weeks, days, hours, and sometimes even minutes. A few weeks ago, I posted that there was a small chance that we could be getting our little boy later this summer. Since that post, my hope that this will happen is pretty much zero. Two weeks ago, Jim and I were given a very difficult decision: we had to decide to file our immigration paperwork in the US and hope it would get approved or we could fly to Congo and file our paperwork in person. If we had decided to go to Africa, we would have had to quickly get a yellow fever vaccine (and a note from our doctor stating that it didn't need to be in full affect for us to enter the country) and purchase plane tickets--all in a matter of 5-6 days. If we had traveled, we may have been able to see our little man for a few days (I say may have because he is still in the orphanage several miles from the capital city-I hope our agency would have tried to get him to the capital if we had decided to travel). I would have loved to have held him and kissed his little cheeks! But leaving him would have been one of the hardest things I've ever done...and all of this would not have guaranteed being able to bring him home in a few months.

Anyway, we chose not to go through all of this and to send our paperwork overnight to the US office. I still feel like that is what was best for us. We placed it in God's hands and chose not to spend a few days in significant stress. Since this decision, we have basically heard from our agency that there is no chance of his case being investigated this month, which means we have no idea when they will go back to his region. I have been plagued with guilt the past few days, feeling as though I have failed this little boy. I feel like I should have done whatever I could to bring him home. Now he's stuck.

What makes me the most upset is the fact that it is our wonderful US government that is preventing him from coming home to us. He is legally ours in the eyes of the Congo. I understand why the US is conducting investigations, but it doesn't comfort me as this little guy's mom. I feel the best and safest place for him right now, is here with us. Not waiting 3, 6, or even 9 more months because the US can't handle the investigations with their current staff in the Congo.

So what do we do now? I know that I can't just sit here and be mad or depressed (even though I will likely go through these emotions several times a day.) I've decided I need to focus on a few things here in the States. I'm planning on training for 3 half marathons that are about 5 weeks apart: the Leading Ladies Half in Spearfish, SD and the Billings and Bismarck half marathons. Jim will be doing the Billings and Bismarck half as well. This may not bring our little guy home any sooner, but it will be a healthy outlet for our stress.

The other thing that we need to do is begin some fundraising. We have been very blessed up to this point and our adoption is almost 100% funded. However, our travel expenses are not. We will likely need at least $10,000 for travel. This includes our flight, hotel, and cash to live on for 2-3 weeks while we are there.

For fundraising I'm going to start by adding a tab off to the right side of this blog that links to Just Love Coffee. Just Love Coffee is based out of TN and roast fair trade, organic coffee. A portion of their proceeds go directly to helping those that need it. We will receive anything that is purchased from them through the link on our blog (from about $3-$19 depending on what is purchased). This is a small way for us to start fundraising for some travel expenses.

We have a few other fundraising ideas that we will begin focusing on and we will let you know what they are as we go.

We know there are a lot of you out there who are praying for us and this amazing little boy and we want to say 'thank you'. Without your support, we wouldn't be able to get through this crazy, exhausting, amazing journey.

I'm not sure when/if I will be posting a picture of our little guy on this blog (for privacy reasons), but I will share the name that we will be giving him when he gets home. We have decided on Asher, which means: 'fortunate, blessed, happy one' in Hebrew.

Progress

Every time that I begin to doubt God's hand in this adoption, He just has to show me how big he really is.

"I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?"

Jer. 32:27

Our adoption process has been moving along as expected...slowly and unpredictably. We still do not know for sure when we will be bringing our little man home. After we received our referral, I was hoping that we would be able to go and get him before Christmas. Since our referral, my hopes of that happening have been fading and I've begun to think it will be more like Feb. or March.
But then last week, all of that changed. We might, MIGHT be going to get him in Sept. or Oct!! I'm not counting on this, but there's a chance!

This week, we got news (and when I say news, I mean a bill) that our little guy will be moved from the orphanage in Mbuji Mayi to our adoption agency's transition home in the capital city, Kinshasa. This is almost a 600 mile journey! This is a huge step, because he will now receive a little better care and will be with staff that have been trained by our adoption agency. He will have running water and electricity. From what we have been told, the orphanage that he was at is actually pretty good and that he was fed 3 times every day. Still, it is nice to know that he is being moved. When we go to pick him up, we will go to this transition home briefly and be able to see where he lived. I pray that this transition is not too hard on him. All he has known for the past few months has been the orphanage, so this will be very different for him.

When we first began this journey, I don't think that I realized how many highs and lows and how much uncertainty there is in the adoption process. I wouldn't change this experience for anything, but it has definitely made me trust God more than I did before. I know that our little man is worth every tear I've shed and every worry I have. I have to trust that God has this whole thing in control and whether we go and get him this fall or have to wait a few more months, God knows when he should come home to us.

Erin

It's a....

BOY!

We received our referral early last week (I know, I should have posted this sooner). We got a referral for a 7 month old little boy in DR Congo. I wish I could post pictures! He has the sweetest, cutest face! He looks very healthy and happy-which is a huge praise! We received new pictures today and he has already changed so much! I can't post a picture or name at this time, for privacy and legal reasons, but for now we will refer to him as A.

We should be able to send him care packages very soon! (We might be able to do it already). I can't wait to go shopping for him! Jim and I are going to hit a few stores this weekend. I didn't realize until we received our referral, that there is so much LESS boy stuff than girls.

Now we just wait. We have to wait for all the legal stuff to go through, and to be honest, I'm not sure what what all that entails. It will probably be 8-12 months before we go to Africa to get him. I'm praying that we can go before Christmas. Until that time, we should receive monthly updates and photos-it will be so hard watching him grow up in photos. We also have to fill out forms for grants and begin some fund raising.

I would like to ask you all to pray for us and that precious little boy. I will give you more details as I'm able to.

Erin

Waiting...

I've been putting off updating our blog because I was hoping to have more news. Jim and I are patiently waiting to receive our referral. For those of you who aren't familiar with the adoption process, a referral is a picture and brief summary of a child that best matches our needs. We then have the choice to either accept the referral or wait for another one. After speaking with our case manager, it looks like our adoption agency is trying to match us with a baby (boy or girl) that is 5-6 months old or less. Our agency would like the adopted child to be younger than Jade. I spoke with our case manager about a week ago, and she told me that we should have our referral in 1-2 weeks. The referral will come to us via e-mail. Needless to say, since then I have been checking my e-mail about every 10 min. I am really hoping that the next post that I write will be telling you all about our referral.

I am very anxious to receive our referral, but God has given me a peace that has kept me grounded. I had this same peace when I was pregnant with Jade. I just knew that God had this situation in control and I just needed to yield to Him. At the time we lost our little girl Abby, I never thought that I would be able to endure another pregnancy without significant fear, but God has given me the faith to trust Him because I know that I am not in control.

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Plans Change

Wouldn't it be something if our plans and God's plans always lined up? Wouldn't it be nice if we were always patient and allowed God to reveal His plans to us in His timing? I've been finding this very hard the past few weeks/months. I want to know where 2013 is leading us and how it is going to end up. I have my ideas of what I want to happen, but I'm struggling with being patient and allowing God to do His thing.

The adoption process has been so much more emotional than I ever thought it would be. I thought it was just about signing a few papers, waiting to be matched with a child, and then preparing to bring that child home. But since we've begun the process, I've realized that it is MUCH more than that. It is a process of waiting, hoping, and praying. I didn't realize how much I would begin to care for a child that I have never met and who is not my own. I want so badly to meet this child and see his or her face that I sometimes lie awake at night and worry for them. I know that God has this situation under control and that He will protect that child more than I ever could, but I still want to be in control of the situation.

God has taught me a lot about control over the past few years. I've learned...I have none. He is in complete control of my life and if I would just turn the wheel over to Him, I would end up at the right destination. Looking back, this is not where I thought I would be in life. Four years ago, I thought we would begin to have the family that Jim and I had always planned for. We wanted to have children, but adopting wasn't really even on our radar. We went through a very difficult time when we lost our daughter Abby. However, it was during this time that God allowed my heart to be more open to adoption. I knew that if we couldn't have our own children then we would adopt (but at that time it probably would have been an infant from the U.S.). Then God allowed us to have our beautiful and precious daughter, Jade. After she was born, we began thinking about when we might want to try for another child. My idea was to wait until Jade was about a year old. Well, God had other plans. When Jade was about 3 months old, I began feeling that adoption was the next step. Then we felt Him pulling us toward international adoption. Wait a minute Lord!?? Are you sure? That was my initial reaction. Why is it that we always have to question Him?

Everyday I wonder if I'm cut out for this. I wonder if I'll be able to care for a child that has been through more than I will ever know.  I doubt myself and my abilities everyday. But then I hear a little voice that tells me "I've got this. You can do this with Me," and I know that God is in control and that He will help me through this even if I make mistakes (which I will).

I really don't know where I was going with this post, but I just needed to get a few thoughts out of my head. I'm sorry if this has left any of you confused, but just know that God wants to be in control of your life and if you would let Him, He has amazing plans for you that you can only dream of.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, declares the Lord" 

Isaiah 55:8

Paperwork...

For anyone who has gone through the adoption process, you understand all of the paperwork that comes along with it. I thought we had a lot of paperwork to do just for applying for our home study and adoption agency. Well, now our home study is finished and approved and we are officially under contract with our adoption agency. The next step is compiling all the paperwork needed for our dossier. We need certified birth certificates, wedding certificate, notarized letters from our employers and doctors, a notarized letter from the sheriff's office, passports, etc...and a few other items. After we collect all of the required documents, we have to take them to the capital and have every item state certified. Then, and only then, will our dossier be complete and legal. Oh, and did I mention that we have to scrutinize every notary's signature to make sure it's signed correctly and that their commission doesn't expire before June 2014 (in case our adoption is held up). We've each had to request the doctor's office to redo their letter to make sure it's "correct". I'm sure they love us :)

And if this paperwork isn't enough, we are also beginning to look at grants (because adoptions, whether international or domestic, are expensive). Every grant issuer has their own paperwork requirements. Some of them have similar requirements, but they all seem to be slightly different. I'm trying to keep all of this stuff straight, but I'm not gonna lie, I am getting a little overcome with stress and emotions. It's during this time, that I just have to close my eyes and say, "Lord Jesus, please be with me as we go on this roller coaster ride. I need to feel Your presence and sense of peace." And I always seem to compose myself and feel Him with me. Jim and I have been through quite a ride since we've been married, but the Lord has gotten us through everyday and I will continue to follow Him where ever He leads us.

We are also in a very exciting, terrifying, ... time in our adoption journey. Any day now, we could receive a referral for a child from our adoption agency. What does that mean, you ask? That means we will be emailed 1-2 photos and a BRIEF explanation of the child (medical history, reason for abandonment, etc). We both are ready for a face and a name! Unfortunately, I think things will become even harder when we do have that face and name. We will want more than anything to have that child home with us and safe.

We'll keep you posted and hopefully soon we'll be able to let you all know about that precious child that is waiting for us!

Erin & Jim